note from editor:

"I thought I said love. Maybe I said death." - Erin Croy

"when i grow up" by megan kennedy

Sometimes I think I said things I didn't. I think it, but then don't say it. I figure the universe will read my mind, and answer in some way. I do secret things. I fall in love with invisibilities and other splices of time that are not now

Eventually it all becomes a tangled cluster of misunderstandings, wishes, and memories. But never a mistake. All of it is intentional, even if it comes out wrong. 

This is coming out wrong, I think. I think I meant to say something like, the universe does respond to whatever you mean to say. Sometimes it responds with nature, like a dead sky, or with a city so full of life that it breaks the hearts of anyone who notices it. Dreams can be messages, and death is just a message, not an end. Because we are always saying something, even when no noise comes out. 

 

Claudia Lamar, July 2011